A TRIBUTE PHOTO ALBUM

Just over  a year after my twin sister's death I was busy searching for some books and suddenly found this photo album in a grip packed high on top of a wardrobe.  I got this album many years ago and did not even remember that I had it. It was in a plastic bag looking as new as ever and had no pictures in it. Mom and I decided to make it a tribute album and placed many pictures of Janine in it. Strangely enough I have not yet found the other books that I have been searching for. It is as if I was led to this album for this special purpose. I think that twins continue to have a strong bond even after one of them has passed on. As the saying goes "Once a twin, always a twin."

MY THOUGHTS AS I THINK ABOUT ANOTHER DEPARTED LOVED ONE

When I was only 13 years old my father died but then I don't think I fully thought about death. Two years ago my twin sister Janine passed away and I developed a deep interest in this topic. First of all I turned to my Bible. Since then I have read a number of books and was especially fascinated by the book 'Healing Grief' by James Van Praagh which was sent to me by another twinless twin named Brenda. Last Saturday, March 12, my Aunt Prilly passed away and again I am thinking about the subject. Oh, how happy I would be if I knew that my father and Janine had already met in their new life. Ah well, we won't really know what death is all about until our day comes. One thing I am sure about though is the fact that they are all in a better place.This is based on my Christian belief.  As I ponder about this topic I add 2 pictures of Aunt Prilly. One of her as a young woman and the other of her in later life. May her soul rest in peace. A Thanksgiving Service will be held for her on Tuesday, March 29 at the St. Andrew Parish Church starting at 2 p.m.

BIRD FIGURINE COLLECTION

FUN TIMES WE HAD

BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES


Fun times we had a plenty,
It was obvious to so many.
Whether at serious work or play
We were together every day.


That we enjoyed each other's company,
No one can ever deny or even ask why?
Twinship provides memories galore,
That I know for sure.


Lucky to have had a friend wherever I went,
Every moment was well spent.
A life filled with so much pleasure,
Our days together I will always treasure.

JANINE - A TRIBUTE TO MY IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER

By Judy Haughton-James


She always had a bright smile
And it would last for quite awhile.
Never failing to look her best.
She would accept nothing less.


Friendly and outgoing,
Love she was always showing.
Very close to family and friends,
Right to the very end.


Gone to rest in the twinkling of an eye,
Did not get the chance to say goodbye.
Nevertheless it was probably the best,
That this was the way she went to rest.

WORDS THAT HAVE HELPED ME FACE THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE.

My family and I have faced death again as my Aunt Prilly passed away this afternoon. Death is something that we all have to face but when we lose a loved one it is always a challenging time.  These words helped me when I read them some time after my twin sister's death. I hope they will help anyone who has lost a loved one:
           "Those we love don't go away,
            They walk beside us every day.
            Unseen, unheard, but always near.
            Still loved, still missed and very dear."

A STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE

BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES


Warmth marches forward as I take a stroll down memory lane.
A wonderful day to do so as the sun shines brightly on my tropical isle.
Immediately I recall how my twin and I loved to bask in nature's glory.
Right now I can picture us in our identical peach floral dresses
that seemed to welcome passing butterflies.


Spring draws near and we loved visits from our feathered friends.
Their morning chorus made our early alarm clock redundant.
The sound of the long, strong, beak of the woodpecker could never
Be ignored as he relished his favourite insect dish from a coconut tree.
The same tall coconut tree that gave us a refreshing drink of coconut water.


As we gazed downwards the blue sky seemed to kiss the Caribbean sea,
While the surrounding hills and valleys appeared to take on their blue hue.
Today  they remind me of the ups and downs on life's journey.
I walk alone as a twinless twin but with God's help I will climb out of life's valley
and head to the top of a mountain of hope.


I have no doubt that the day will come when we meet again.
For sure such a wonderful day that will be.
This awesome scenery engulfs me with inner peace.
Now I  take comfort knowing that despite it all,
My twin Janine is in a better place.

A TIME TO SLOW DOWN

BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES

When we are grabbed by the cold hands of grief,

We desperately go in search of ways to find relief.

One way for me was to become as busy as a bee,

I would never stop until something to do I could see.

This would ensure that I would be on the go non-stop,

At the end of the day tired, in bed, I would drop.

Nevertheless good rest eluded me many a night,

Reciting Psalm 23 would be one way to put up a fight.

I could hardly wait to see the light of day,

When as a writer I could pour out what I wanted to say.

It has certainly been good therapy for me,

As sad thoughts rushed at me like a raging sea.

An idle mind I could not withstand,

And some persons seemed to understand.

But now I have no choice and must slow down,

It is advice that I can no longer ignore with a frown.

I have no doubt that it will be a huge mistake,

If I don't face reality that it is for my own good sake.

TREASURED TWINSHIP MEMORIES

By Judy Haughton-James


      It was good to have come into the world with an identical twin sister on November 4, 1961.  I consider it a blessing and will treasure all the memories of our almost 47 years together.  Janine and I arrived over 10 years after our two brothers Richard and Sutcliffe.  Our family lived on a farm in an isolated area of the country so it would have been a lonely life if I was born a singleton.  As a matter of fact about a year after our birth, our brothers were off to boarding school.


       What a wonderful companion Janine was.  When you have an identical twin, you have someone who has so much in common with you.  The word that comes immediately to mind is togetherness.  I am grateful that our parents encouraged us to take pride in being alike and saw no problem in our spending a lot of time together.  Of course, they never failed to help us realize that each of us was an individual.


       Over the years I found it extremely easy to get along with my twin sister.   There were times when I would rush to tell Janine something and she was about to tell me the same thing.  Furthermore, in discussions, each of us could finish the other's sentence or we even uttered the same words in unison.


       Throughout our school days we excelled in the same subjects doing particularly well in the Arts.  It was beneficial to us that our teachers and parents recognized that we had the same capabilities and there was absolutely no reason why one should be put in a class below one's standard just to be separated.  Knowing how alike we were in thoughts we made sure never to sit beside each other in the classroom.  This was done just in case any teacher failed to understand how much we thought alike and believed we copied each other in tests and examinations.


        Twinship gives lessons in social skills that parents should enhance. The ability to smile, be polite and communicate with even persons whom we were meeting for the first time is a trait that I will always treasure.  I have no doubt that the ease with which we were able to do so came naturally because we were twins.  I cannot  forget how shocked Miss Josephs, our History teacher at St. Mary High School was when she found out that Janine and I were new students.  We had completed 5 years of high school at Marymount High and had just moved to St. Mary High to pursue Advanced Level studies. She was amazed at how well we settled in with our new classmates.


        Since my twins death I have read the book 'Twin Loss' by Dr. Raymond William Brandt.  For the first time this book informed me about utero bonding where twins bond together while sharing their mother's womb.  This first experience teaches twins to share.  Being accustomed to sharing things with one's twin equips one with a level of ease in sharing with others.  In other words living the life of being a twin is all about sharing and caring.  Parents should never stifle this inborn trait while cautioning children how far to go.


        It is important to touch the lives of others by showing what it is to be a true friend.  This strong sense of friendship is again an offshoot of being twins.  Our friends have been long lasting starting from when we were very young until today.


       There are many funny moments when you are twins.  My twin and I could not help being amused when people could not tell the difference.  Most amusing was when someone came across one of us not knowing that there was an identical twin somewhere else only to be totally surprised on seeing someone looking exactly like the person they had just seen.  Only a few close friends and our immediate family could tell the difference.


        Every child should be taught to appreciate plants and animals and where we live they are in  abundance.  Janine and I developed a deep interest in birds and about 10 years ago we started a collection of bird figurines.  It has grown into a huge collection that graces our living-room in a display unit.  This collection stands as a memorial to our shared love for our feathered friends.


       When it comes on to special holidays and birthdays, it is particularly good to have a twin to celebrate these moments.  I especially notice how important these have been since my twin's death.  I no longer look forward to these holidays and my birthday.  Anyway, I think a good way to remember a departed twin is for parents and the remaining twin to give a donation to a church, charity or some organization.  In the case of my twin, I am thinking of making a donation to the Jamaica Cancer Society on my next birthday as this terrible disease took my twin away.


       I would encourage all parents of multiples to help their children enjoy their twinship and treasure all the wonderful memories that come with it.  I consider 47 years with my twin to have been a short time together on earth.  However, I have enjoyed this short time and although now facing the pain of having lost my twin, I would rather it be so, than not to have been born one of identical twins.
                                                                                          

                                                                          

CANCER

This is one of the early poems that I wrote a few months after the death of my identical twin sister. I know that many persons have lost family members and friends to this terrible disease.  I hope that others will be spared from this in the very near future.


CANCER
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES


Cancer what a terrible disease,
Always causes such unease,
Its pain no one can appease.


Capable of destroying many a cell,
Making someone become so unwell.
Life concerned for all a living hell.


Dear God give doctors and researchers wisdom
To find a cure for this weapon of doom and gloom,
That has resulted in my twin gone too soon.