I am always happy to see quotations that lift my spirit daily. I have found the Daily Quotations sent out by Jonathan Lockwood Huie to be particularly helpful and I use them for my Facebook Status from time to time. This morning I received a wonderful one by Ryunosuke Satoro:- "Individually we are one drop, Together we are an ocean." Since I lost my twin I have found support from others and I am thankful to the Twin Loss Yahoo Group, The Path Twins Take and The Twinless Twins Group on Facebook for the opportunity to link with other twinless twins. I am also happy that another twinless twin Angela has started a Blog here titled 'ENJY'S PLACE.' Angela is an early loss twin while I am a late loss twin but I have learnt so much about the strong bond of twinship from those who lost a twin early. We are on the same journey and together we can ease the pain. By the way, last night I joined the Experience Project and even posted an article in the Twinless Twins Group. I hope to learn more about this group as time passes.
Judy H-J's Thoughts - A Twinless Twin. Jamaican Freelance writer on a healing journey after facing loss. Here I share memories, hobbies, interests, pictures and much more.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
SPECIAL THOUGHTS FOR BRENDA TWIN TO LINDA TODAY - APRIL 9.
Today is the third anniversary of the death of Linda twin to Brenda. I know what a day like this means. Those of us who have lost a twin can fully understand. Nevertheless we try our best to deal with it as time passes. I wish Brenda a peaceful day as she goes to Muskogee and enjoy the flowers blooming in Honor Heights Park. I find peace amidst nature. Over the years Janine and I liked flowers with roses being our favourites.
I linked up with Brenda on the Twin Loss Yahoo group and she has been such a good friend sending me uplifting emails regularly and a wonderful book titled 'HEALING GRIEF' by James Van Praagh. It is amazing how at times we have not met someone personally but he/she has been really genuine and helpful during challenging times. As I think of having peace of mind I share this poem that I wrote titled 'PEACE OF MIND.'
PEACE OF MIND
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
In our lives we come across moments of stress,
We often wonder how we will put our minds to rest.
In everything try your very best,
Make sure you are not the cause of any distress.
Let no one disturb your peace of mind,
Endeavour at all times to be kind.
Relax your mind and unwind,
You have to be strong in this time.
See setbacks as lessons to be learnt,
You will meet them as long as you are on earth.
Life is filled with challenges to overcome,
Have faith and your journey has begun.
I regard each day as a gift,
Always trusting in God to give me that lift.
I look forward to a brighter day,
And live in hope all the way.
I linked up with Brenda on the Twin Loss Yahoo group and she has been such a good friend sending me uplifting emails regularly and a wonderful book titled 'HEALING GRIEF' by James Van Praagh. It is amazing how at times we have not met someone personally but he/she has been really genuine and helpful during challenging times. As I think of having peace of mind I share this poem that I wrote titled 'PEACE OF MIND.'
PEACE OF MIND
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
In our lives we come across moments of stress,
We often wonder how we will put our minds to rest.
In everything try your very best,
Make sure you are not the cause of any distress.
Let no one disturb your peace of mind,
Endeavour at all times to be kind.
Relax your mind and unwind,
You have to be strong in this time.
See setbacks as lessons to be learnt,
You will meet them as long as you are on earth.
Life is filled with challenges to overcome,
Have faith and your journey has begun.
I regard each day as a gift,
Always trusting in God to give me that lift.
I look forward to a brighter day,
And live in hope all the way.
Friday, April 8, 2011
TWIN BROTHERS DIE AT 92
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
I have just read an amazing report shared by another twinless twin Angela from Germany. It was about 92 year old twin brothers from Brazil who died a few hours apart. They have always been together and one had to go to a hospital far away. He died there and a few hours later his twin also passed away. I think it would have been very difficult if one of them was left.
This story brought to mind the times when Janine and I would discuss what would happen if one of us died first. We thought it would be great if we both died at the same time or I would say that I wanted to die first and vice versa.
Since Janine's death, I have heard of the case of twins dying at the same time and it was always under rather tragic circumstances such as an accident, fire etc. Recently in my homeland, Jamaica, there was the sad case of young twin girls dying in a fire. That made me realize that this isn't the best thing to think.
I give God thanks for the almost 47 years Janine and I were together. We did not die at the same time but at least I know the day will come when we meet again. Two years ago I never thought I could write a poem but tried the one below shortly after Janine's death.
JUD AND JAN
Jud and Jan from one came into the world as twins,
What a wonderful 47 years it has been,
We will never allow our twinship to dim.
We give glory to God who gave each of us a special friend,
One guaranteed right to the very end.
Together again we will unite,
Oh, that day will be bright.
Wow! What a wonderful sight!
Jud and Jan that is God's plan,
Greater than any coined by man!
As I copy this poem from my journal I realize that then I was still saying "WE!"
I have just read an amazing report shared by another twinless twin Angela from Germany. It was about 92 year old twin brothers from Brazil who died a few hours apart. They have always been together and one had to go to a hospital far away. He died there and a few hours later his twin also passed away. I think it would have been very difficult if one of them was left.
This story brought to mind the times when Janine and I would discuss what would happen if one of us died first. We thought it would be great if we both died at the same time or I would say that I wanted to die first and vice versa.
Since Janine's death, I have heard of the case of twins dying at the same time and it was always under rather tragic circumstances such as an accident, fire etc. Recently in my homeland, Jamaica, there was the sad case of young twin girls dying in a fire. That made me realize that this isn't the best thing to think.
I give God thanks for the almost 47 years Janine and I were together. We did not die at the same time but at least I know the day will come when we meet again. Two years ago I never thought I could write a poem but tried the one below shortly after Janine's death.
JUD AND JAN
Jud and Jan from one came into the world as twins,
What a wonderful 47 years it has been,
We will never allow our twinship to dim.
We give glory to God who gave each of us a special friend,
One guaranteed right to the very end.
Together again we will unite,
Oh, that day will be bright.
Wow! What a wonderful sight!
Jud and Jan that is God's plan,
Greater than any coined by man!
As I copy this poem from my journal I realize that then I was still saying "WE!"
Thursday, April 7, 2011
THE IMPACT OF RAIN
We have been getting quite a bit of rain recently and it brings to mind the impact of rain shortly after my twin sister's death. Here I share a poem that I wrote during that time.
RAIN
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
There is something about rain,
I just can't explain.
Makes me feel calm,
It is like a balm.
I don't like being out in the rain,
I prefer to watch it fall on my window-pane.
I also like to hear the pitter patter
Water everywhere making a splatter.
I wish it could drown my sorrow,
And make me see a brighter tomorrow.
I am longing to see a rainbow
When colours in the sky put on a show.
RAIN
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
There is something about rain,
I just can't explain.
Makes me feel calm,
It is like a balm.
I don't like being out in the rain,
I prefer to watch it fall on my window-pane.
I also like to hear the pitter patter
Water everywhere making a splatter.
I wish it could drown my sorrow,
And make me see a brighter tomorrow.
I am longing to see a rainbow
When colours in the sky put on a show.
Monday, April 4, 2011
TWIN BOYS CONVERSATION
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
Last night I watched the very funny TWIN BOYS CONVERSATION video that has become a sensation on the internet. I was really fascinated by it. I can remember how at times Janine and I used to utter statements in unison or even finish each other's sentences. Equally amazing was the fact that sometimes I would rush to tell her something and she was about to say the same thing to me. Twins have a very special bond that started in the womb. Dr. Raymond William Brandt in his book 'TWIN LOSS' referred to it as utero bonding. Right now I am thinking about something that happened last night. I was getting off of my bed and I said "I am going across to the bathroom." I wondered how I made this statement as if I was saying this to Janine. The twin bond lives on even after death. As the statement goes " Once a twin, always a twin."
Friday, April 1, 2011
A SPECIAL TRIBUTE ALBUM
I WROTE THIS POEM ABOUT THE SPECIAL TRIBUTE PHOTO ALBUM FOR MY TWIN SISTER JANINE
I go anxiously in search of books,
And can't think where next to look.
Then suddenly my eyes venture high,
To some grips and I let off a sigh!
Nevertheless I decided to search each grip,
And muttered to myself "Suppose one slips,"
With help I manage to get each to the ground,
And sensed relief as each landed sound.
So many things brought back wonderful memories,
But something special made me feel butterflies.
A beautiful small floral photo album was intact,
It looked so new I could not believe the fact.
I had forgotten it as I received it many years ago,
Now packaged in a plastic bag it seemed to glow.
Ah! Immediately the purpose for this I knew,
Despite not finding my books I did not feel blue.
I have no doubt that my departed twin led me to this treasure.
The real power of utero bonding is beyond measure.
This album now boasts several pictures of my departed twin,
As I view each page like a river happy times flow within.
A pink album beautifully decorated by cream lace,
Among my many albums takes pride of place.
Graced with a lovely flower,ribbon and circle of pearls,
Oh, how this album to me now means the world.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
LOOKING BACK AT MORE HAPPY MOMENTS
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
THE FIRST FUNERAL AFTER MY TWIN'S BURIAL
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
Today wasn't the easiest of days as it was the first funeral I was attending since my twin's burial. It certainly brought back some sad memories. Anyway I am glad that I managed to pay my last respects to my Aunt Prilly. The young priest Rev. Monique Campbell delivered a very uplifting Homily. As she said "Death is not an ending, it is a new beginning." She elaborated on this and it was certainly words of comfort for those of us who have lost loved ones. My cousin-in-law Vince Henry delivered a beautiful rendition of Josh Groban's song 'You Raise Me Up.' I also saw many relatives whom I had not seen in a long while and even met some new ones! I wish we could all meet on a happy occasion.
Today wasn't the easiest of days as it was the first funeral I was attending since my twin's burial. It certainly brought back some sad memories. Anyway I am glad that I managed to pay my last respects to my Aunt Prilly. The young priest Rev. Monique Campbell delivered a very uplifting Homily. As she said "Death is not an ending, it is a new beginning." She elaborated on this and it was certainly words of comfort for those of us who have lost loved ones. My cousin-in-law Vince Henry delivered a beautiful rendition of Josh Groban's song 'You Raise Me Up.' I also saw many relatives whom I had not seen in a long while and even met some new ones! I wish we could all meet on a happy occasion.
Friday, March 25, 2011
RELEASE ME
BY JUDY HAUGHTON-JAMES
There are days when this is exactly how a twinless twin feels. I wrote this on a day when I was in deep reflection.
At times there is this inner turmoil,
Struggling against it is heavy toil.
However it is destructive to internalize pain,
As there is really nothing to gain.
Oh, I definitely need to be bold,
I have been successful at times if the truth be told.
I want to find true peace and be stress free,
I know I can achieve this as I look to Thee.
That day I will truly welcome,
Then at last I will shout "I have overcome!''
Release me! Oh, Release me!
I need peace, perfect peace!
There are days when this is exactly how a twinless twin feels. I wrote this on a day when I was in deep reflection.
At times there is this inner turmoil,
Struggling against it is heavy toil.
However it is destructive to internalize pain,
As there is really nothing to gain.
Oh, I definitely need to be bold,
I have been successful at times if the truth be told.
I want to find true peace and be stress free,
I know I can achieve this as I look to Thee.
That day I will truly welcome,
Then at last I will shout "I have overcome!''
Release me! Oh, Release me!
I need peace, perfect peace!
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